Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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