I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize