Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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