on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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