i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
