i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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