Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
