doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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