I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
