I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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