yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
