Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
