I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
