he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
