WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My dick has a subreddit
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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