I think my vagina is haunted
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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