Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
