My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
