Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
