I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
