I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
After last night, I could never be a politician.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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