I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Your penis caused this!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
