I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
