I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My vagina is officially offended.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize