I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
