Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
