why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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