No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My ass is underappreciated
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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