Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize