I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she smelled like a LAN party
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
