At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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