Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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