So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
