sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
