so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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