Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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