She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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