id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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