Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
