if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
