I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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