I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I need moral support for this bender
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
