We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
