dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
