remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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