I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
