Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
