ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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