I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
