i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Never underestimate the power of titties
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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