Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
