I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
