we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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