It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
