Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
