scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
