I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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