She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
