So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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