1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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