I like my sex mixed with concussions.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize