"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's official drugs can't kill me
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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