love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
