he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
