I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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