this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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