Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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