I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
