I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
