Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
