Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We need a shit load of segways right now
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
