Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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